Today is Friday. I don't work. I presently have more than $30.00 to my name. This combination of things sets up the near inevitability that at 11:15, you can find me frigid and shivering, waiting in line for a bowl of pure bliss. That bliss manifests in Chef Justin Carlisle's tonkotsu ramen, an indulgent and milky bowl of pure pork essence that just so happens to be the perfect panacea for the winter blues.
Pairing beautifully (and hilariously) with the ramen is your choice of alcoholic slushy. The mainstay in the slushy machine is the classically sconnie brandy old fashioned, but there is also a rotating flavor to choose from. I have consumed an unholy and irresponsible amount of frozen booze in the depths of Red Light Ramen and have never had an unsatisfactory sip, but don't go too hard because these drinks will mess you up. Cab, Lyft, Über or designated driver are highly advised. If you're too stuffy and/or dumb, or just don't want to ruin your morning, they are also well stocked with PBR. It should be noted though that you are allowed to be sober at Red Light Ramen, just don't expect to be in the majority.
Anyone who is a little turned off by higher end dining (why are you reading this blog?) shouldn't feel deterred by the fact that Red Light Ramen shares it's space with the also excellent Ardent. Same staff and address and exact same space aside, these are two very different places Once the lights dim and 2Pac starts blasting you can pretty much be assured that the staff has cut loose the shackles of serenity and are ready to fill you with as much heart-stopping comfort as you can handle. Perfect for foodies and philistines alike! That being said, please for the love of God, do yourself a favor and eat at Ardent. Both establishments are exciting and precise and worthy of our patronage. Anyways, off to do something healthy to preemptively make up for what I'm going to do to myself tonight. See you in line!
Red Light Ramen starts at 11:30 P.M. on most Fridays and Saturdays. Follow them for all sorts of hilarity on Twitter @RedLightRamen
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